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Bacon or Sex?

A recent survey suggests that Canadians prefer bacon to sex. The survey, conducted by Angus Reid for Maple Leaf Foods, discovered 43 percent of Canadians would take the nomy goodness that is bacon over...

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The Theatre Date In Hollywood

Let’s get the basics of Hollywood out of the way. You’ve got a date. And you thought you’d show your theatrical side by getting tickets to The Pantages but cannot for the life of your true hipster self...

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Nourishing Hedonism

There are two things our American culture taints, and therefore brands: sex and food. We are one of the most conservative, precautious cultures, and it manifests in our bedrooms and our food system,...

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Liquid Bacon

Have you ever slept with more than one person at once and thought, “oh, God, if I could just put A’s epic blowjobs and her long legs and B’s love of anal and massive Rolodex on C’s sense of humor, pop...

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Bacon-Vanilla Shake

Brooks Bayne is a typical L.A. slasher: he’s an entrepreneur, technologist and conservative thinker who spends most of his time poking fun of liberals and satirizing popular culture on Twitter. His...

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Slutty Fortunes For You

You don’t have to add “in bed” to the end of the fortune in the cookie any longer. Introducing Spam Fortune Cookies — and no, they’re not made out of SPAM. Allow them to explain themselves for your...

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Redneck in Furs

Our editrix gets some interesting fan mail. We’ve seen everything from dick shots to Starr Report-length poems, to family heirlooms and comic books. Every once in a while, though, someone sends in...

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Redefining “Porking”

The internets run on bacon. This we know. What we also know is that the obsession has engendered a variety of products, from bacon-flavored lip balm to bacon-flavored vodka. In view of this and the...

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Foreplay Meets Happy Hour

Ali Carter in a whipped cream bikini in Varsity Blues. We can’t remember what the movie was about, but we will never forget the whipped cream bikini. It looks awkward now, laughable. We’ve graduated...

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Why Wait Years to Let Yourselves Go?

You’ve seen it. At first, you’re the most beautiful couple in town. Time passes. You get comfortable. You stop using so much product. You stop wearing makeup unless you’re planning to go out. You stop...

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